Wondering how to have better sex in a relationship? Everyone reaches a point in their relationship when the first glow has worn off and they want to take their connection to the next level. If that’s you, read on for our top tips on how to have better sex in a relationship.
#1 - Communication is the biggest factor in how to have better sex in a relationship
If you’re exploring how to have better sex in a relationship, the best thing you can do is talk about it with your partner!
Establishing a dynamic of frequent communication and feedback during and about sex is going to help you so much as you figure out how to improve.
Give live feedback
The idea of effortless reading and following one another’s unspoken cues might be romantic and sexy, but the truth is that most of us need a little more direction than that. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner when something feels amazing, and don’t hold back from letting them know that you need something different.
Don’t assume that what worked for a previous partner is going to be just as effective now. Make sure to listen to the feedback your partner gives you. They know their body and their desires best.
If you want to figure out how to have better sex in a relationship, talk about sex before, during, and after. After a particularly amazing experience, make sure to compare notes with your partner about what made it so good. You might assume that it was the same thing for both of you, but you’d be surprised about how differently partners can experience sex. Always ask, never assume.
Talk about how preferences change
Our preferences change over time as we grow older; some things lose interest to us, while others might begin to intrigue us for the first time. You might also find that your body begins to respond differently than it used to, and that’s totally normal. It does mean that your formula for how to have better sex in a relationship will have to change with you.
If you want to keep knowing how to have better sex in a relationship, you have to keep communicating as things shift. It’s a great idea to have regular ‘check ins’ where you discuss how your sex life is going and make time to share about new things you might want to try. Habit has a way of creeping in and calling the shots, so it’s important to be intentional about creating opportunities for change and improvement. This will also prevent any problems from simmering for months and becoming significant issues.
#2 - Planning is your friend when it comes to how to have better sex in a relationship
Believe it or not, but many of things you can do to have better sex in your relationship actually come down to planning.
Okay, okay, we know that spontaneous sex is great. Lots of people are convinced that scheduling time in the bedroom takes the magic out of it all, but these people are missing a trick for how to have better sex in a relationship. Scheduling a time in your day or week to be intimate will allow the anticipation to build, which is only going to make the sex better when the time finally arrives.
Give yourself a lot of time
One perk of a little bit of planning is that it means you can be sure that you have all the time you need. Taking your time is crucial for how to have better sex in a relationship. As we get older, getting aroused just takes longer. Expecting to start from a place of instant passion is going to be a recipe for self-criticism and disappointment. Give yourselves permission to work up slowly and to take the time to really indulge in the foreplay that gets things simmering.
Take on a challenge or two (or three!)
When you’re wondering how to have better sex in a relationship, one of the most fun things you can do is to take on different challenges. This could look like so many different things. In-the-moment challenges like challenging your partner to stay still as long as possible, or more long-term challenges like working your way through a list of different positions or scenarios. Some couples even swear by a 30-day sex challenge where a couple commits to sexual activity every single day for a month!
The point here is that challenges force you to come out of autopilot. You end up being creative and fully present, and that is a recipe for how to have better sex in a relationship.
#3 - Find different ways to connect with your body
You can’t expect to be disconnected from your body in most areas of your life and then magically know how to have better sex in a relationship - so it’s important to be physical in other ways.
Yoga or exercise
Many couples find that they have better sex after some kind of exercise. Whether It's a yoga class, a pilates Youtube video or a session at the gym, there are plenty of reasons for this. Exercise helps you to connect with your body and be fully present and aware of it, which is crucial for good sex. During and after exercise, your body releases endorphins into your system, which gives you calm and happy feelings. This feeling of calm and clearheadedness can make it much easier to have good sex because you aren’t going to be distracted by the normal stresses and concerns which can stop you from being fully present in other situations.
Physical affection outside of the bedroom
Sustaining physical affection outside of the bedroom is a key to how to have better sex in a relationship. It keeps a current of connection and intimacy flowing throughout the day. Make an effort to express your love physically, outside of any kind of sexual subtext.
Final thoughts on learning how to have better sex in a relationship
There are so many things you can do to have better sex and these are just a few ideas. As you can see, having better sex in a relationship really does look like listening to your partner and committing to new ways to pursuing fun and connection together.
And, here at The Adventure Challenge, that’s what we’re all about.
Looking for more ways to boost your sex life? Check out our blog, How to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom.
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